Life literally does go on after!

well, what can I say. A Cancer diagnosis at any age in life is heartbreaking. It devastates your life, the lives of the people closest to you and has repercussions that you would never think of.

I have only got 7 more Herceptin injections to go and I will be done with active cancer treatment. Blimey. Last year I can honestly say I wasn’t sure if I would get to this point. Not only in a physical way but mentally as well. I am one of the much discussed ‘strong’ cancer fighters. A positive attitude. Grab the disease by the horns, kick cancers ass types. But really, down deep it was just denial. Still is.

I still wake up and wonder what the hell happened, why me. Why anybody? It’s just a life lottery as it is whether it comes back or not. Will my body attempt to snuff me out again? Probably but we can never say for sure. I saw a good quote last night, Don’t borrow sorrow from tomorrow. It may never happen so why waste your precious time worrying about it.

We get dark days as so does everyone. It’s just that a cancer suffers dark days are to do with mortality and pain. Not just your own pain but of your loved ones.

I have learnt recently that my family kept a few things from me last year and that was hard to accept.To me I was only ill and I could have coped with anything but to them it was the best plan to try and help me. At times the only way to shield me from other shitty things going on.

BUT I am healthy albeit overweight. I know I need to lose weight and to give me the best chance of a long life I need to get rid of the excess weight but now there is another side of me (little devil) that says f*** it, live for now. If I want chocolate have the chocolates!!

On a lighter note (goodness knows where all that came from 😁) I’ve just returned from holiday!!I am no longer the colour of skimmed milk! You know the look, a pasty British blue white colour of skin that looks ill all year round. I have a tan, tan lines and I feel great. Tired but great.

I saw my oncologist yesterday and voiced a concern about a migraine I get after herceptin administration. Although rare it is a side effect. Ho hum, another one. Aches, pains and now migraines. She signed me as fit for another 3 months so I get to live a normal life again for a while.